Life with a time bomb wrapped!!

I was complaining sometime back, that my one-day-weekends whiz past me. I want to actually 'feel' a weekend go by. And the Gods smiled and said- "Granted".

All I have done from the morning today is -Sleep, while away time, sleep some more, while away some more time.. I wouldn't call it wasting time, because it is NOT wasting time. I like it this way.

Sometimes I wonder what's the whole hurry about. Why is there a time limit to everything. You got finish your schooling on a "one year -one grade" timeline. Got to finish college in 4 years..get married by late 20's ..its like living life with a time bomb wrapped around the waist. There is a logical explanation to most of those, I know. But sometimes, it just drives me crazy.

Well..am off to the beach now.

Taking the time to unwind. Taking the time to breathe.

Resolution Driven

First post of 2010.. . Invariably everytime, the time interval between my two successive posts is so long..that it becomes the "First" of something or the other.

Thanks to a new year resolution..I guess I can say - "I am back".. ( thats giving the resolution a few months validity )

Under the Chennai Skies

Back to blogging again!! Beneath the Chennai skies now.

Let me get done with the cribbing first or it will shadow over the entire post. This place knows only one season. Summer.We have shades of summer though..Hot..Hotter..Hottest..

Don't shower atleast thrice a day, and your soul would try to escape the mortal world.

The moment you step indoors, the only place you are headed to, is the shower..bcoz rubbing the 'Chennai' off you is of primary concern..Urgent and important in MBA ishtylleee..

There...am done!! But do I hate this place..Well, never been able to make up my mind on that. And the ten minutes which I have given myself now, will take me nowhere closer to the answer. So thats for another time.

I bunked classes today. Yippee!! Ma first official bunk.

Usually Thurs-Sat goes like this.

• Rush and try catch the 7.15 MTC bus. Miss it invariably every time.
• Get the overcrowded 7.30 'Hell on Wheels' and travel about 1 hour on OMR.
• Oh the OMR!! Lined by the city's engineering colleges and software firms, it isn't really the outta the city long drive anymore.
• Reach just in time to catch the company cab ( oh yeah..the journey isnt over :( )after a zillion msgs to slightly more punctual classmates to beg the driver to wait just a few more seconds ( more being a ambiguous measure )

And Thursday special offer: After all the above, the ordeal of attending a class by a super boring prof who just reads from the notes which he would hand over at the end of the class to us anyway..

It took my brain about 30 seconds to process all this, a tiny voice somewhere deep inside tried to motivate me, but neurons firing away at that rate, what chances does the tiny voice have

What employed people would call "Casual Leave" :P

So I took a casual one today too.

Well..This post was just to get me back into the writing mode and to commemorate my first class bunking too. So ciao for now..Ten minutes just got over.

Hypocritically gay!!

Blog after blog. Hopping from one to another. So many views, so much to talk about, agreements, arguments, appreciation, rebuke, acceptance, denial. It’s all in there. The sheer intensity of the emotions amazes me sometime.

Happened to read blogs from the Times of India crew today. And also a celebrity blog-Celina Jaitley. Celebrities are usually famous, popular people ryt???Err..That caught me off guard too..lolz :D Anyway!!Her film career is out of scope here. I hardly care about that. But she truly is a celebrity in her own right. Come on..the lady's got the guts to voice her opinion. And that too about a very sensitive topic of gay rights in India. I cannot help but say. Kudos.

My take on it. Well..Live and let live. How does another person's sexual inclination and preferences become a matter of public interest and discussion. Let’s face it. Haven’t we taken this "Upholding the Indian cultural values"; "Shunning everything western" drama a little overboard now...How do Genetics and psychological preferences know national/international/cultural boundaries??

Just becoz the majority is "Straight”, doesn't make the minority crooked. I cannot help wondering. Is it that the caste based minorities is starting to see dawn (at least a ray of hope) these days..and the satanic side of man is already looking for something new to oppress. And the LGTB community is his new victim.

This happened just now. when I was winding up this post. Its 5.15 pm..Cafeteria time!!!
Frnd: Hey..sup? what are you upto.Am bored!!
Me: Just reading blogs and stuff..Ntn important. Bolo
Frnd: Ooohhh..Nice..Blogs on wht?
Me : Anything and everything which catches my eye.Ntn specific. Time pass ke liye kuch tho karna hoga na.
(Peeps into my screen..The tabs open are Article 377 of the Constitution..Celina dear's blog..A few other related news articles)
And I see a hundred expressions on it in the minutes that followed
Me : Kyun..kya hua..Itne expressions??
Frnd: Huh...You read abt all this!! Comeon... A few abnormal people..No one cares!

I am still confused. Why is it that, sometimes we say "Who cares" and sometimes we cannot keep our "Pinocchio-on-a-lie-day" nose out of the same issues.


Our laws make law impossible; our liberties destroy all freedom; our property is organized robbery; our morality an impudent hypocrisy; our wisdom is administered by inexperienced or mal-experienced dupes; our power wielded by cowards and weaklings; and our honour false in all its points. I am an enemy of the existing order for good reasons-George Bernard Shaw

Train of thoughts

Adding another concentric ring to the halo behind my head. I was under the impression that only the serene beauty of sunrise and sunset can get the thought process started. Here's another one to the list...

Twilight..Train journey..Window seat. And off you are in the land of random thoughts

I don't mean those train journeys where the otherwise tolerable kids in the compartment suddenly start showing the full prowess of their vocal cords. Goshhh..How I hate those journeys!!
The ones I am talking about are the blessed ones; where two of your co passengers refuse to show up and you do a mini-mental-jig to celebrate the same coz you got more space, momentarily at least.
Blr to Hyd journey this Monday evening was one such blessed journey. My mind took off to thought-land! Things I had not considered important enough to spare a thought; things that were so important that I wanted to think about them in leisure; things I dint know existed till then. In all, I realised, I had postponed the "time with myself" for a long time now.

Hmm...Chai Break..BRB

Staring out of the window. An empty styrofoam cup in my hand. Mulling over, what’s on top of the "To-Think" list. I am absent mindedly looking for patterns in the clouds. I like that. No one can be wrong about cloud patterns, because whoever says you are wrong, dint quite see it from your angle.

Ha..angle of thinking. My neurons are firing away there. Everyone has their angle of thinking. Rather, everyone should have an angle of thinking. Individual, independent opinion is a very important thing. The guts to voice oneself without the fear of being "judged" is something I appreciate. It’s a quality which deserves respect and admiration coz not all have it. I read someplace-"Sometimes its best to shut up." True. It takes immense control to shut up and listen to something you clearly differ from, but at the same time, an inner voice tells you- "Dude. Your zillion words are going to go wasted anyway. The guy is a fool. Let him be." .Chances are, we could be the fools instead. But hey, that’s the other guy's angle of thinking. Thanks but no thanks.Not putting myself in the other person's shoes.

There, my mind is on stand by mode now, just as the train inches into Hindupur station. I wait, eyes at the door of the compartment. I am thinking of an analogy. No.All that came to my head sound too cliched...So sticking to "Watever..I am just waiting"..And then there is a jolt. The train starts off from Hindupur station.Yippeee....Time for a mini-mental-jig Part-II.

To be continued..

A Philosopher's ease

I marvel how Nature could ever find space
For so many strange contrasts in one human face:
There's thought and no thought, and there's paleness and bloom
And bustle and sluggishness, pleasure and gloom.

There's weakness, and strength both redundant and vain;
Such strength as, if ever affliction and pain
Could pierce through a temper that's soft to disease,
Would be rational peace--a philosopher's ease

There's indifference, alike when he fails or succeeds,
And attention full ten times as much as there needs;
Pride where there's no envy, there's so much of joy;
And mildness, and spirit both forward and coy.

There's freedom, and sometimes a diffident stare
Of shame scarcely seeming to know that she's there,
There's virtue, the title it surely may claim,
Yet wants heaven knows what to be worthy the name.

This picture from nature may seem to depart,
Yet the Man would at once run away with your heart;
And I for five centuries right gladly would be
Such an odd such a kind happy creature as he.

The vague..the abstract

O Reader! had you in your mind
Such stores as silent thought can bring,
O gentle Reader! you would find
A tale in everything.


A zillion thoughts within the constrained space of my mind. I think I am going insane.

(The brighter side..I have realised why blogs were created in the first place.Have never been this appreciative of them before.I just took time to reach this juncture, I suppose.)

I re-read my past blogs. Its all so abstract..its vague.Am not sure if I have compatriots on this front too.. But I have reached my verdict..


I like the 'vague'.. I like the 'abstract'!!

No pity plzz!!

Well yeah. I am weird. So?? There is some glitch in the way my brain was hardwired. I seem to hate it when people do the consolation act and say "It will be alright", " Things will be ok "..blah blah and blah.I am not being cynical.I am just being honest.Isn't it excruciatingly painful to hear those words and even worse, that look of pity!!!Goddddd

My friend asks me, "Err...What do you expect people to tell you then? Normal human reaction would be to say "It will be alright", " Things will be ok "..blah blah and blah..You are being unreasonable"

The above..Truth unadulterated again.But, remember.I am weird. I can't take pity.

Somtimes silence means so much more than words.

9 to 6.45..five days a week.

I have never been able to decide wht i like better. Work or no work?? No..I am not a workaholic..I am not a chronic cribber either.But then,I hate it wen I have to sit idle the whole day and clock in 9 hrs just bcoz of company policies. Well, company policies were sure made for a reason (arent they all made for some reason!! and to top it up, there are always people clocking wen u came in and wen u left the office right to the millisecond. How does it even matter to them? I dunno..Probably they are adding spice to their 'busy' day this way.

When I ask myself, wht would I do, if I dint have to clock in those wrteched hrs everyday.Just stay around till I have work. And then call it a day when there is no work to do, and not even the anticipation ( or hope if I cud call it tht) that work is on the way.Well, to start with..
A book to read is certainly the first option
Taking up long forgotten hobbies ( which the 9 to 6.45 schedule helped in burying too)
I am sure I can come up with more like this.

But yeah. I guesss, to summarise it all.It would just be the feeling that people respect my time. And moreover I respect it and have the freedom to decide wht i want to do with every moment of it.
As usual, it all comes down to be in control of your own life, doesnt it!!

Thought for the day!!

Loved this thought

There is nothing good or bad in this world, but thinking makes it so.
What people call congestion in a bus, becomes atmosphere in a disco!!!

Horsocope : A Deeper motive perhaps!!

All this started with a fwd mail saying Horoscopes 2009..I told myself - "Hey!!!I dont believe in horoscopes. My life is my decision..Nothing else rules it..No stars..no planets". So what was the fate of that mail. Shift+Del??Of course not..After forwarding the mail to a few friends (oh yeah..first involuntary reaction of a "on bench" software employee ) , I skip directly to Gemini to read the course my life would be taking according to the planets, and yeah..not to forget ..the stars too.

Well, I am a happy person now..All nice things said in the Gemini column of the horoscope..a brilliant year ahead..Phew!!gives me such a relief..but hey..I dont believe in horoscopes right.

All said and done..probably , there is no harm in believing the good things said there.They give you hope.A strength to get past bleak times. A few words of hope, written by some XYZ, probably to increase sales of a newspaper/magazine, but yeah..they give you a ray of hope neverthless.

Thats the way I end up thinking of God too..Ok..before anyone raises their eyebrows..I am no atheist.I believe in God more or less the same way as I believe in horoscopes. Yeah..interestingly there is an analogy. Before a difficult test, or after a terrible one, my faith in Him strengthens. But more in the way that, believing He is there, gives me a hope that things will be alright.Life that sucks presently will get better. I dont chant prayer, but just saying "GODDDD" helps at times.Its probabaly escapism, if I were to be too hard on myself.I want the burden off my shoulder.No mortal being would take it.So what do I do. Put it on God, the Almighty.

Well..its sound sort of philosophical..but hey..give it a break..anything and everything abt God isnt philosophical. Probably all this was just to say that things often might mean just more than they seem to be saying explicitly.Horoscopes might have started off just to make things ahead look brighter for as its said " Hope is like the sun.It casts the shadow of your burdens behind you". And the Creator is the mighty hand that weilds this powerful tool of Hope.

Confused??Curious??

I always wanted to be a journalist..nope..thats too much travel and buzz..
I wanted to be a Doctor..oh no!! hospitals...
I wanted to be a artist..well..lets not talk abt my hand and eye co ordination levels at all..its a very "not welcome to talk abt" topic..
Living in a society where the very idea of small talk means "What do you want to be in life?" [:grr] or "So, what do you want to do next"...my answer has always been..well..not much of an answer than a confused look and after turning round..of course a "Duh!!"
But when I come to think of it now, how does a person realise his/her passion.Other than the born brilliante of course..u see my point??no..Well..See..I like Biology..fine..it interests me more than say... Thermodynamics..but is that my passion??
Err.. I feel the confused look surfacing again..
Or is it like Browning saying "Two roads diverged in the yellow woods..And sorry I could not travel both..."
Its just the curosity..What if I had been something else?? The curiosity remains and the confusion prevails..forever!!

The Beginning

Yet another attempt to kill boredom and I turn to blogging!! After trying all the usual techniques a "on business wait"(read bench) software engineer can turn to..like reading fwded mails with absolutely no new or interesting content, yet indulging in the next in line passtime of fwding those fwd msgs to a few more same state souls, taking a coffee break to get refuelled for the gruelling task of solving puzzles, cribbing abt how you crave for work and curse the industry for being in such a bad shape at precisely the same time that you passed out of college. Well..here's where I hope to find peace and solace..Thts the beginning and I dont see the road ahead clearly, but at least, I dont see the end to this journey either :)